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Chair 1

Chair 1


"Well, you were right!"

"You see?"

"When we were up there, it didn't make sense."

"You're not the first one to say so."

"I mean, I guess not. Most people are normal. And normal people get up from a chair, and if they're going down to the water, they go the straightest way possible."

"I've noticed."

"But you, you're extraordinary, TJ. You have a walkway for the way you walk, which ain't straight at all."

"Now, now, sometimes it is."

"Right, every blue moon."

"Experience is everything."

"Well, you know, I can see how it would be for you in this case. You've sat there before, and gotten loaded sitting there before, so you knew exactly how the walkway should go. You got up, and you went this way, and that way, and this way... What I don't understand is how it worked just the same for me."

"I don't know either. Great drunks walk alike?"

"I love this water. It's really refreshing. I don't feel drunk at all anymore. Course, I can't feel my legs anymore either."

"Probably we better get out now."

"Same way we came in?"

"I dunno. Haven't tried it getting out before."

"What'd you do when you got in?"

"There was a boat."

"Where's the boat now?"

"It's not here."

"I can see that."

"So what do you care where it is now?"

"This seaweed makes getting out really slippery."

"Yeah, it's better to have a boat."

"I wish we had a boat."

"Don't worry. The tide'll go out after a while. Then there'll be more ways out. Till then just put your hands on the rock and kick your feet like you were swimming. That'll keep you warm. I might try it too."

"Well, you were right about how to get down here. I'm gonna trust you're right about how to get out."

"Trust is everything. Ready?"


"Start kicking!"

"Can I have another drink first?"

"Yeah, sure. Me too. Hey, there's lots left here yet. Let's drink it all, then we'll start kicking, eh?"

"Yessir, yessir, then we'll start. And you're right. Trust is everything."

"I'll drink to that."

"Bottoms up!"

As if they had planned it, the two men then dived underwater and stuck their bare bottoms in the air like ducks feeding. When they came back up, their wives were standing there at the water's edge, looking less than happy with what they were seeing.


"What would a duck do now?"

"Fly away."

"Shit. I can't do that."

"Why, because you're not really a duck?"


"Shit, I'm not either."

"Shit. Guess I'll be seeing you."

"Right. Nice talkin'."

"You bet. Hey, honey, that's my ear! Don't pull it off!"

7 September 2022
Texas Jim
Prospect, Nova Scotia
Category:Travel and Places
Subcategory:North America
Subcategory Detail:Canada
Keywords:chair, coast, granite, oddly, old, placed, rocky, shoreline, steps, wooden